Archive for category Humor

The big 2-9

So my 29th birthday is here and I am ready to put this year behind me. I must say that I have had a mighty tough year and that many mistakes were made. As good friends keep reminding me though, mistakes are good as long as you learn from them. So, have I learned from them? Wait and see is the best advice I can give anyone on that matter. As part of my year to be forgotten, I have had many ups and downs. At times I thought everything was going to be alright only to regress back into the ass that got me into this mess. Birthdays and new years always seem like a good time to make dramatic life changes, so I will try and take advantage of this and jump start my journey to become myself once again. If this past year has taught me anything, it is that we all really do reap what we sow. I made some horribly selfish choices during my downward spiral and let others get caught up in my path of self destruction. I have apologized to those involved, but only my future actions hold the power of redemption. The stain that my behavior has left on my reputation will not be easy to wash away, but I feel like I am making steps in the right direction. Hopefully I will be able to look back on my 30th next year and actually be able to smile about the year I had.  A really big thank you to my good friends who put up with my fuckery for the past year and somehow didn’t openly hate me. A sincere apology once again to those I hurt. A swift kick in the ass for me for allowing myself to lose sight of what was really important.

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They Want Efx…

Hello once again people of the world wide web. I have been missing in action (I love you Chuckie) for a couple of weeks now, but I am now back. What can I say? The life of a young American living in one of the most beautiful cities in the world during one of the nicest stretches of weather in recent memoy is tough. There are some legitimate reasons for my online absence, but in all honesty I have just been lazy. I apologize to all of my followers, both of you. I can only pray you forgive me and decide to spread the word about the awesomeness that is my blog. Here are a couple of shorts about some recent events.

Beautiful Destruction

I have been watching MMA seriously now for about 10 years. During that time I have witnessed some truly epic battles and displays of technical brilliance. This past Saturday I watched the Strikeforce PPV and came away very impressed with the level of skill and heart shown by the two fighters in the main event. I did not expect such a testosterone fuelled beating as both fighters have vaginas. Yes, the competitors were the two top female MMA fighters on the planet. Gina Carano stepped in to face the brutal Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos for the first Strikeforce women’s title belt. I had seen both fighters in the past, but was honestly disapointed with what I saw. There was no doubt that they were highly trained atheletes but it was kind of like watching most other womens sports; they have the fundamentals down and do everything technically right, but the men are just faster and stronger. However, my mind is now changed after seeing what happened on Saturday night. Both of these warriors laid it all on the line to put on a great show for the fans. The obviously out matched Carano showed a tremendous amount of heart and even dished out a couple of hard shots that rocked Cyborg. There was plenty of brute strength, technical prowess, and strategy to be seen in the cage. I was thoroughly impressed with both fighters and would gladly stay up until 7 am to watch a rematch (One of the disadvantages of being a sports fan on this side of the globe). Although the rest of the women in MMA are not at this level and most likely will never be, it was really refreshing to see Carano and Cyborg represent the sport like true champions. On a side note, Gegard Mousasi easily won his title fight with Renato Sobral. He should have signed with UFC who has a much deeper 205 division. I would love to see him against the UFCs elite light heavyweights.

cyborg-beats-carano_medium

Revenge in The Bay

Just a quick note about the Vikings finally signing Brett Favre. I hate it. I have always liked Favre and his gunslinger mentality on the field. He was also a raging alcoholic who underperformed for my beloved Falcons. He went on to GB to win two superbowls during a hall of fame career. Hooray for him. I am happy that it is over and I can now watch something not Favre related on sports TV. Congratulations to my two homies that are Vikings fans. This move instantly puts them at the top of the food chain in the NFL. Best defense in the NFL, check. Awesome O line, check. Best Rb in the game, check. Hall of Fame Qb, check. Let’s just hope he doesn’t Favre it up as soon as the Vikes enter the playoffs.

favre_vikings

WTF Did He Say…

So this summer I went to Southside music festival with some friends in a camper van and had a most awesome time. While there I got a chance to see Kings of Leon. I have always liked their music, but never bothered to purchase any of it. They put on of the best performances of the weekend and I came away determined to become a real fan. I bought (downloaded from a friend, same thing) their newest album a couple of weeks back and it has been on heavy rotation ever since. I am really digging their new psychedelic rock swing and lead singer guys amazing vocals. I am sure all of you have had WTF moment while listening to a song you have heard many times before. I was riding my bike and kind of signing along to “I Want You” when I had to do a double take on myself as I could not believe I had just said what I thought I did.  Blindly repeating words, something in my brain clicked and let me know that I had just said something that was not quite right. Thanks to modern technology I was able to rewind the track a bit and hear this little gem; “It’s heavy I know, the black guy with the gift down below. A choke and a gag, she spit up and came back for more”. I still chuckle every time I think of this.

That Is All

So that is the end of my post for today. I promise to do my best to keep the articles coming in the future. While I have not been blessed with my oldest sisters wit and excellent grasp of grammar, I make up for it with my blatant ignorance and slight assholeness.  At least you will always know what you’re getting with me. So so writing on subjects you probably don’t care about and links of a most awesome nature. I am also trying to get some of my friends to contribute on here as some of them actually have interesting things to say at times. Here are some links to entertain you. Later monkeys…

Everyone loves cartoon theme songs (Heckler Spray)

Awesome blog about an asshole that e-mails

Some great light graffiti art (Daily Mail)

McLovin remakes Training Day (Trailer Trasher)

Dude is invisible (Oddity Central)

I had no idea this would be so damn cool (Youtube)

I have watched this like 100 times just for the guys face (Youtube)

Some cool stuff for your office (Cube Craft)

Great movie reviews

Great article on Shel Silverstein (Mental Floss)

FrJack

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Monday Links

Happy Monday Internets.  I will be writing another post about Heidelberg as soon as I can get some quality pics. Here are some links to keep you busy today. Enjoy!

This movie looks to be the awesome (Youtube)

I love strange scientific studies (Listverse)

Worst trailer EVER (Youtube)

That’s what she said

Ahhh, the good old days. I remember doing this on my calculator

Andrew Wk is a trip (Youtube)

This story is just strange (Lep)

If you have ever wondered what a shampoo commercial is like when you can’t show hair (Youtube)

Classic Asian fail. I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN (Youtube)

Trailer for Hot Tub Time Machine. Looks great (Trailertrasher)

Another strange news story. How in the hell was this supposed to help? (The Sun)

More Asian silliness Audio NSFW (Youtube)

I don’t see the big deal, I would actually prefer the brick (Daily Star)

If you need a gangsta breakdown of WWII (Urban Dictionary)

Killer Ninja dance dude (Youtube)

If you only follow one Twitter, let it be this one

gang of vs

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Link Time

Some more links to soothe your soul

I don’t even think Transformers use gas (Flisted)

This is a new one to me (Flisted)

What is really going on (Youtube)

Hmmmmm, Tasty (Englishrussia)

It’s porn for tubs SFW (This is why You’re Fat)

Next, science can tackle the smell of air (Scienceray)

Gotta love that Lynch (Interviewproject)

Are you Jim Maclaren

I guess it was just average intelligence design (Wired)

Some cool pics of your planet (Matadortrips)

Beware the Nazi gnome (Bild)

Oh nothing, just kind of hanging out (Spiegel)

All kinds of awesome (AOLNews)

Super sweetness from Romero (Chud)

A little Asian silliness (Youtube)

Funny Potter spoof (Collegehumor)

time_machine_inventedHave a superb day!

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Some Trailers

Just wanted to share some trailers for a couple of movies I am looking forward to.

Paper Heart

Mystery Team

Funny People

Hausu (Thanks Stephanie)

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